Lecciones de amor

Aprendí a mirarte sin ruidos;

a apreciarte sin tenerte,

a acariciarte sin manos, a hablarte sin voz.

Aprendí a diseñar pensamientos lindos,

programas avanzados

que se desplazan hacia ti.

Entendí que siempre estarás,

y que está bien.

Te limpié un cuarto en un rincón del alma

y cuando sales te saludo,

con cariño y saber.

Aprendí a tornarme invisible,

a mirarte buscándome y no aparecer.

Entendí que caminos bifurcados

existen para dos;

que amarte es respetar tu silencio,

quererme, mantener el mío.

Soñarte es compartir contigo el alma

y agradecer que me acompañes

en silencio invisible

y visible, en silencio.

Comprendí que el desapego es la mayor generosidad.

tuttysan © 2012

Lecciones de amor – poema. Foto:  Columbia River Gorge, Oregon.

Valentine’s: single and lonely or married and miserable?

Are you single and lonely or married and miserable? As Valentine’s Day approaches and many get ready to celebrate their relationships or lament the lack of one, here’s a thought: It’s just a date.

Sometime in the past, someone thought it would be nice to celebrate love. Eventually, stores used the occasion as an excuse to make you spend. “Honey, what do you want for Valentine’s?” asks a loving husband over dinner. Didn’t we just have Christmas? There’s nothing I want that can be bought at the store (a little me time, a wild night out, a day without responsibilities). “How about we exchange cards and call it a day?” Once you are married and living a partnership you realize that nobody outside of it can dictate how or when you celebrate love. But if you’re single, you’re in a unique position to freely enjoy because you don’t have to compromise.

The truth is, the moment you are sharing a place with someone, life turns into a never-ending cycle of compromise, in which nobody really gets what they want most of the time. That is, if you are in a functional relationship. If all your needs are being met and you are getting your way, chances are your partner is not – and he/she might resent you for it. Expect retaliation. Think of it as the U.S. Congress. When Republicans are happy Democrats sure are not, and vice-versa. But when neither party gets what they want and they have to compromise, then you know democracy is working.

Enter kids. I realize the above paragraph puts committed relationships in a bad light.  If you didn’t know I am exaggerating for the sake of making a point, you would think I resent the noble institution of marriage (insert smile and eye-roll here). In fact, there are many happily married newly weds out there enjoying all the things they have in common and getting 100% of what they want every single day. Right? Let’s assume for a moment that this is right. Add kids to the equation and everything changes. Kids= more work + less play + less energy to play. Things just got a lot more complicated and a lot less fun. Now, on top of compromise you have chores, responsibilities, things to do and fun adult things you cannot do because you are trying to be a good parent to your little bundle of joy. Ah, the bliss!

Let’s not forget that whether you have kids or not, in a relationship you are expected to be “nice” to your partner most of the time, something that only works if he/she reciprocates. Communication can get tricky and in order not to hurt each other’s feelings, you may need to filter your thoughts and keep your actions in check… every single day. I elaborate on this topic in my post Of Relationships and Filters.

In short, sometimes being single and lonely sucks, but marriage can suck too and it is a lot more work. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts. The magic of novelty fades not long after you say “I do” and after that all you have is work, compromise and filters…. sprinkled with a few moments of joy.

Valentine’s for those who are married is about celebrating those joyful moments and the fact that, in spite of the hassle, you choose to commit to someone you love. For the single, Valentine’s should be a celebration of possibilities and the freedom of not having to compromise on dinner, TV shows, furniture or baby names.

Valentine’s: Single and lonely or married and miserable.

Tu maldición – poema

 

No es una playa vacía,

sino el agua que está fría.

No es la neblina eterna,

sino la cama sin piernas.

No es un brujo en San Juan fumando cigarros

con velones prendidos y fotografías al revés.

No es una muñeca vudú comprada en eBay,

punzanda en tus partes

que no te deja querer.

Es el recuerdo de aquel tren que dejaste ir,

el que se fue despacio por si acaso querías montarte.

Es la sonrisa que calentaba tus tardes frías

y hacía tu casa pequeña cantar.

No son las canciones, es la falta de musa.

No son los plátanos, es la carne.

Lo que te amarga los domingos no es tu café,

es mi ausencia.

Yo no hice nada.

No busqué nada.

No tomé nada.

Tu maldición no es haberme tenido;

es quererme… y a pesar de tenerme,

tener que vivir sin mi.

By tuttysan © 2011

Tu maldicion – poema.

Regresar – poema

 

Cuánto camino recorrer hasta llegar a ti

cuánta tierra cavar, cuántos botes anclar

cuánta lagrimas llorar

cuánta agua beber.

Cuántos días de hablarte en silencio

sin que me escucharas

Cuántas horas deseándote lo mejor

y sintiendo lo peor

Cuánto aguarse mis ojos al venir tu recuerdo

cuan profundo respirar

cuántas veces suspirar

cuántos sueños soñar hasta encontrate hoy.

Cuánto hablarte en silencio

en mi soledad acompañada

cuántas letras escribir

cuántos cuentos contar

cuántos dìas viajar y años avejentar

para llegar a ti.

Para descansar en tu regazo, mi cielo

del cual nunca debì marchar

que me abriguen tus brazos de hierro

de plumas, de colcha, de azúcar, de sal.

Que me besen tus labios de aire

sin suzurros, sin voz, sin abrir, sin llorar

que me acaricien tus labios mi cara

que me contemplen tus ojos intacta

como ayer, sin parar.

Que te miren mis ojos incrédulos

tal si por primera vez

que me acaricien tus manos, silencio

palabras no existen, y por dentro, saber.

By tuttysan © 2011